I feel like everyone’s looking for a mommy mentor or someone to look at who really does it right so that we can emulate them and be better mommies. However, what I found is that everyone’s just getting by and doing the best that they can with what their kids temperaments and excitement levels are.
It’s easy to fall into comparing ourselves to others in every category in life but given our extreme pull to be the best moms ever, it’s particularly challenging. Whenever we are comparing ourselves, it’s never a fair comparison and the outcome is empty. One of two things happens. We either come up short or we win and neither of these is what we’re really looking for. If my child can write their name before yours, does that make me a better mom than you? Absolutely not. What if she sleeps through the night before your little one and you are still suffering from sleepless nights? The comparisons can get exhausting.
Some of my mommy friends let their kids watch iPads and television every day and some of my mommy friends don’t let their kids watch any television. To be honest, regardless of the research I’ve seen, one child is not smarter than the other, nor is one happier than the other. All kids react differently to every situation. For instance, my little Stella doesn’t do well when she eats sugar. She gets kind of angry and defiant while other kids eat sugar all day long and are happy.
Most of us judge ourselves for everything we do as moms and it’s time to stop! As one of my favorite books, The Four Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz says, “Do your best”. This is the Fourth Agreement and one of my favorites to true myself up. If I truly am doing my best everyday, everything will fall into place. There is no room for resentments, judgements or upsets.
Love yourself, love your child, do the best that you can and try to get a little better every day and learn from our mistakes. I think that’s the true essence of being a great mom and being your own mommy mentor!